Just the mindless blathering of a bored nerd

Baboon frenzy inside my pants!

Don’t blame me… Blame Leo Laporte on episode 59 of This Week in Google at time index 25:10

Two weeks ago, Microsoft announced it’s intent to continue to support the 8 year old Internet Explorer (IE) 6 until the year 2014 (IE Blog). The response from the web was difficult to distinguish from the sound of nooses tightening around scrawny necks and bullets plowing through HTML and Javascript packed minds. But, alas, the day has been saved. Well…for those who have yet to commit hara kari, that is. Google is steping up to the plate to accomplish what the big “M” is unwilling (or incapable) of doing.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s…Google??

Google announced the IE plugin called Google Frame. On pages that require advanced features that IE simply does not support, rather than dumb down the page or simply turn IE users away, web developers may now require users to install Chrome Frame. For pages that support this plugin, any version of IE will be able to tap into the power of one of the most advanced web browsers available today. For all other pages, IE will retain its normal (albeit, irritating) operation.

Here’s a better summary of Chrome Frame and it’s purpose straight from Google…

So Microsoft is thankful for the help…right?

Wrong. But their nay-saying is quite understandable. Googles move undermines Microsoft’s authority and strangle hold on the web in the worst way imaginable.

The official word from Microsoft is that Chrome Frame will make IE “less secure”. This is the argument from the company whose product was revealed to contain a Kanye-West’s-head sized security hole just this December. Every expert in the public eye took the opportunity to warn everyone away from the browser (Tech Flash, BBC amongst many others).

In an effort to recover from the IE security scare, Microsoft performed…er…I’m sorry “NSS Labs” peformed security tests (with Microsoft sponsorship). Guess which browser was found to be the most secure: IE…by a lot. A whole lot. A whole hey-why-does-this-ballot-chad-look-funny lot.

Now that Microsoft has established that its browser is the, *ahem*, leader in security, it is free to use this “boogyman” tactic to scare users from installing the Google product. But why, OH WHY, would they not want Google’s help in fixing their browser issues?

Once you go black…

Microsoft has a very real concern. IE is regarded by the majority of the web world to be a technologically inferior product. However, despite this and the fact that there are far superior and free alternatives (Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox, to name two), IE retains the overwhelming market share.

The reason is simple: IE comes preinstalled with Windows and people have been “eating” this product for as long as they have had ‘net access. After all, what’s the difference? A browser’s a browser. All I wanna do is read the latest Matlock blog and take my Geritol! Aside: Does anyone actually know what Geritol is???

How is one to know the joy of biting into a thick n’ juicy marinated steak when they’ve been on an Ethiopian diet consisting largely of meal worms and whatever was inside the crate marked “UN”?  And once you’ve tasted quality, it’s difficult to go back to freeze dried fruit.  Microsoft stands to potentially have the blindfold removed from their users eyes that they’ve worked tirelessly to staple into place.

Bottom line: provided the plugin reaches the popularity of other plugins, such as Adobe’s Flash player, web developers around the world will sing Ewok-ian songs of praise to the search giant for freeing us to use the moder-day advancements that Microsoft has repeatedly failed to employ.

How many people use Google today?  Something on the order of 25.98 bajillion people, I believe.  And every single one of us have come to know and love the plain vanilla Google search bar.  But, dammit,  after a certain number of years of straight vanilla, many will begin to feel the overriding urge punch a baby the next time you’re forced to eat it.

Thankfully a couple of years ago, Google sensed impending doom on their little ones and gave us the ability to customize our Google search pages with customizable themes. They dubbed this ability “iGoogle” (at least they didn’t call it “Google-Pod”).

And today, they just level-upped that ability.  Google has released a set of video game themes featuring The Sims, Mario, Guitar Hero, and several others.  And knowing Google, this selection is certain to grow.

Of these personal favorite is the Mega Man theme.  Why?  Because Mega Man’s freakin’ sweet!  That’s why!

Now I just have to find out where they sell the Mega Man edition kitchen sinks.

Yes, that is plain ol’ www.google.com in my browser.   Very different for the white screen.  And similar to the ever-changing “Google” logo on the standard Google search page, iGoogle’s theme appearance will change as well.  There are a set of skins in the Mega Man theme that may be applied to the header to keep things fresh.

Apart from the most-pimptacular addition of Mega Man, iGoogle in general gives the ability to choose from a number of widgets, such as weather reports, calendars, and more.

Go check out the video game themes for iGoogle. If you’re not a gaming fan, then take a peek at the other themes they have available.

Looking for a movie showtime?  How about a nice place to eat?  If you’ve got an iPhone or some other ridiculousl expensive phone, you’ve got no problems since you’ve got what amounts to a mini laptop in your pocket.   Now thanks to Google’s free text service, even those with a Zack Morris edition Nokia Brick will be able to enjoy this luxury.

I’ll shut up now

So, I would normally go into the awesomeness of such free services (free, as in Google charges nothing, but standard text rates apply), but I think I’ll hand the mic over to the geeks at Google. Check it out…

My mission today is simple. As a web programmer, I am here to beg you all to please, please, PLEASE stop using Microsoft Internet Explorer (IE)! It is a web programmer and developer’s worst nightmare of a browser!

We are the nice people who give you things like YouTube and internet porn. All we as in return is that you stop using IE.

What prompted this sudden geek spasm, you ask? This article from Yahoo! explains it all. There is yet ANOTHER ginormous security hole the size of Kanye West’s ego in IE that is being exploited.

Going down with the ship

Unfortunately, since Windows comes with IE preinstalled, many people do not even know that they’ve been using is a crap (to put it nicely). Do bug eating people from the jungles of Idaho know what prime rib taste like? Hell no.

If you want to give your computer a health boost , start by cutting its junk food intake. There is an unthinkable about of custom code written out there just to work around IE’s bugs and deviations from standards. This particular security hole is just the latest in a long history of such happenings. Sure enough, Microsoft will patch this hole and sit back waiting for the next leak to spring. Hell, everyone chained to IE is practically riding in a quilt boat.

Yes... I'd rather web browse with poo than IE.

Let me put it this way: if IE were to disappear forever, the internet as a whole would fast forward about 5 years in technology and security. It’s kinda hard to explain the reasons why unless you’re a programmer as well, but here are two other browsers that if you try, I PROMISE you’ll love. They are faster, more stable, less of a security risk, and will extend the good health of web developers everywhere by 10 years.

Real quality browsing for zero cost

Take a look at these two browsers: Mozilla Firefox and my personal favorite Google Chrome.

Firefox has been around for quite a while. It was what popularize the whole tabbed browsing thing WAY before IE 7 (the one that you are probably using if you are an IE user). This one has a crap load of freakin’ sweet plug-ins that let you do neat things like download videos from sites like YouTube and god only knows what else. Developers love it for the Firebug plug in. This is the swiss army knife of browsers.

If you don’t care too much about extras, the Chrome is definitely the one for you. Chrome just came out of beta recently. It is to IE what a Ferrari is to a shopping cart. The performance of this thing is amazing and it has an awesome, low profile interface.

A final plea

Please everyone…do the WORLD a favor, and use any browser but IE. If you like either of the ones above (and I KNOW you will), use it at work. If your computer is locked down, pester the hell out of your office network admins until you can bitch-slap some sense into them. Then, start a chain and get everyone else you know to drop IE….PLEEEEASE!!!!

Ok….i’m done. Back to work using Chrome and Firefox!